


Five letters in Grief

by shadowkingsoffantasy



Category: Jurassic World (2015)
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Pregnant, Voicemail, letting go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-05-05 07:29:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5366522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowkingsoffantasy/pseuds/shadowkingsoffantasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sad drabbles surrounding the death of either Claire or Owen.... maybe even both...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually write angst, so I hope this is ok. :)

Letting Go

 

The air was chilly and the leaves crushed under her feet as she walked. The trees were now almost bare, with just a few surviving brown red leaves clutching the branches, refusing to fall. The air was gloomy, more gloomy that usual. But that was to be expected considering where she was. 

She kept her eyes fixed on the ground ahead, for some silly reason feeling that she couldn't look straight. Knowing that if she did, she'd see it from a distance. Knowing that if she looked up, she'd see a small hill, and on top of it a big tree, now robbed of it's green leaves. She knew that if she looked ahead, under the tree, she'd see a grave. 

His grave.

Only a grave...for there had been no body to bury.

When she finally made it to his grave, she knelt down careful of her stomach, and placed a single white lily on the ground in front of it. Lilies had been his favorite, even though they were considered a mourning flower. He liked them. He had admitted that he liked them, not the least embarrassed by the fact. She stared at the flower for a minute or two before her blue green eyes shifted to look at the grave marker. She swallowed the bile that rose to her throat as she read the words engraved onto the stone.

Owen Grady  
Loving Son. Brother. Husband.  
And Hero.

The words were carved into her mind, they had been for the last seven months. Claire blinked back the tears that sprung to her eyes as she was reminded yet again that Owen was gone. Her husband was gone... Claire hadn't been here in almost six months. For the first month she'd been unable to stay AWAY from this place. She'd sat by his grave from morning to dusk. She'd either stared motionlessly at the marker, reading and re reading the words carved into the gray stone. Or she'd cry over his grave, letting the tears fall silently as she tried to recall every memory she had of him. Good and bad. Stupid and important. She had stared at the grave trying to remember every single detail of every single moment she'd spent with him. Karen had been worried sick about her habit of basically LIVING by her husbands grave. But Claire had just ignored her, she had just let the outside world go about doing whatever and living in her own little bubble or depression. 

It had only gotten worse when she'd started to forget. 

One day she'd been looking at some of Owens photos when she'd realized that the Owen that she'd been detailing in her memory was slightly different to the Owen that was captured in those images. When she'd really thought about it she'd realized that she had forgotten and altered her husband in her head. 

Karen had said that it was only natural for her memories to become hazy. That hadn't made her feel any better though, in fact she'd just felt worse. She'd just submerged herself further in her grief, pushing everyone away and living on thinking, crying and working. It had made her sick, literally. She'd found herself throwing up in the mornings and having head aches and pains. But she hadn't cared, she couldn't. In the back of her mind, she was screaming at herself for being so damd irrational. Her mind was screaming that Owen wouldn't want her to do this. Her mind was screaming, asking her WHY she was acting like this. The seven stages of grief were one thing, but she herself knew that whatever she was doing was completely insane. 

She'd ignored it though.

Who cares if it was insane?

That was what she'd been thinking, that was her line of thought, until she'd realized WHAT exactly was happening. Until she'd realized that she was pregnant. 

Shaking away her thoughts she let out a sigh, her breath coming out as smoke due to the autumn temperature. The sun was setting now. Painting everything orange and gold. They'd both loved the sunsets, they'd watched it together many times. Including the night that he'd asked her to marry him. The red head smiled fondly at the memory, letting herself savor it's bitter sweetness before finally clearing her throat. 

"Hi," she said, her voice coming out uncertain. She'd done this for an entire month after she'd been told he was dead. But now, talking to a grave seemed strange. Odd. But she kept going, she had things to tell him.

"I know I haven't been here in a while... And I'm sorry. I really am. But...I just... I couldn't. But I'm here now because...well." She paused. In the time that they'd been together she had more than once found herself imagining telling him this...but of course, it had been under happier circumstances. Different situations. The irony was that now that she was finally telling him, he was dead. He was gone and unable to give her any reaction..."Owen, I'm pregnant." She breathed the last part out before lifting her hand to wipe away the tears that had formed in her eyes and were now blurring her vision. One of her deepest regrets was that he hadn't known. That he had died his horrible death not knowing that he was leaving a part of him for her. Not knowing that he WASN'T leaving her completely alone. "A bit over seven months now," she said, placing a hand on her stomach. "It's why i stopped coming actually. Because every time i come here... every time i came here i felt like i should have been there with you. That i should be with you. It wasn't healthy...and i didn't want to take any chances." Chances. Those are what he had taken...A chance to find Blue, a chance to face his fears, the nightmares and the paranoia that had been haunting him since they had escaped that dreaded island what seemed like centauries ago. She remembered looking ahead at whatever her life might have held then. She remembered being afraid, she remembered fearing so many things. Including what would happen to whatever had formed between her and Owen while they'd been running through a jungle, trying to survive. In truth, she HAD had nightmares, she HAD felt like the ground was rumbling, like there was a blood curdling roar when everything was dead silent. But she had been able to overcome it HERE. She'd been able to overcome it in the midst of civilization, a new job, and a relationship.

She'd taken chances too.

She'd taken a chance with Owen Grady, with her new life. So many things could have gone wrong, she could have ended up in so many bad situations but she'd taken the chances...just like he had. The only difference was that she wasn't dead.

She couldn't do this, having this conversation with Owens....ghost? She just couldn't. Because she knew that after she had this conversation, she'd be completely letting go. She would have to move on. These words that she had come here to say, were supposed to be the final words she'd tell him before she pulled herself up completely. Not just half and a quarter way like she was...Completing her conversation with a ghost, a spirit, a presence that may or may not be there was the final step....before she let go. 

She couldn't let go....

Not him. She squeezed her eyes shit as his words rang through her head. The vows he'd said on their wedding day.

'I promise to be with you for the rest of my life, to never let you go, to stick with you through good times and bad....for survival' She still remembered him winking at her at that moment, and she remembered rolling her eyes though she was deeply touched. 

No.

Claire cleared her throat. Wiping away the tears that had slipped pass her defenses and were now sliding down her flushed cheeks. She was Claire Dearing, the ex Operations manager of Jurassic World, and now co- CEO of Masrani Global, she had gone through dinosaur hell breaking lose and had out ran a fucking T-Rex while wearing heels. She had come here to say her finals words to her deceased husband, before completing her final stage of grief and living a full life like she knew he would have wanted her to. She was Claire Dearing and she was not going to back down.

"It's a girl, and i was thinking of naming her Bluebell..." She said, rubbing her swollen belly affectionately, forgetting the sadness and swimming in the warm fuzzy feeling that engulfed her every time she thought of her unborn baby girl. 

"Bluebell Raniya Grady...i wanted to use my mothers name. She's really exited about the baby...and god you should see Karen i dread how she's going to be when Blue's actually born! And Zach and Gray. you know i thought for sure they'd be slightly disappointed about it being a girl but they were ecstatic!" Claire shook her head, her smile fading slightly as she reminded herself why she'd come. 

"I'm getting side tracked...." she sighed and pressed her lips into a thin line. "I know you wouldn't have wanted to know if it was a girl or a boy till the baby was actually born...but, i just needed to know. I used the extra room with the balcony as the nursery. It's Blue and purple....Arrgh!! Side tracking. Owen, look what I came here to say is..." she swallowed but her next words were chocked with emotion. 

"I need to let you go,"

'Keep going' she told herself.

"I love you more than life, and you've given me a life that i love. You've given me a beautiful baby and i can't wait for her to get here. I just wish...I wish you were here...." she sobbed the last bit. "I wish that you could be here, i wish that you could be with me when our daughters born, i want you to be here to raise her with me. I want to live the rest of my life with you, happily...but, that's not going to happen. Owen, i know that you want me to be happy, but I still feel like i have to make this official. I will always remember and love you, but I'm going to move on...i don't know why but i feel like...i HAVE to say that. The day they told me, that you went missing on the island, weeks later they told me that there was no body and when they finally declared you..." She looked at the sky, gray. It would rain soon.

"I've been in denial even while saying I've excepted it. So, basically Grady, what I'm here to say is that... I hope your in peace Owen, and I'll see you....just, not for a long while," she rubbed her stomach and looked up as she felt a small splash of wetness on her nose. 

She looked at the grave again.

She knew she wouldn't be back for a long while. Maybe she wouldn't come back until an year or so later...she would have her hands full, even though Karen was there to help, being a single parent was not going to be easy. She took a deep breath. And let it out. She took out her umbrella and took one final look at the grave. Before walking away. Away from her past.

"Goodbye Owen,"

Claire smiled as she felt Bluebell kick. It was at that moment, in the cemetery, walking away from her husbands grave with the rain pouring down around her did Claire Dearing walk away from her past...

And towards her future.


	2. The Voice mail of Claire Dearing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what this was inspired by

The voice mail of Claire Dearing

 

September 12th, 9.00am-Owen

Hello? It's me...Owen...Look i was wondering....could we meet up? To talk, about, well....Look i want to talk about what happened, go over it...Maybe, we could try again? I dunno...just...call me when you're free ok? Ok. Bye...

 

September 12th, 10.00pm- Owen

Hi, it's me again. Umm....i remember that you're free at this time, but you haven't called back yet so....how are things? You know you should really stop working so hard Claire, you deserve a break...and that was probebly a mistake, telling you that you work too hard but i didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean it then either....i mean, what i meant was....can we talk? Just call me, i'm free whenever you call...Thanks, goodnight.

 

September 13th, 8.45am- Karen

Hey Claire, it's Karen, but you probebly knew that...Anyway, just wondering how you're doing...and i wanted to apolagize...about my volcano erruption tantrum thing earlier, but what did you expect? Anyway, just call me back, i want to talk....Love you, don't work too hard.

 

September 13th, 9.00pm- Karen

Claire please call, i know you're probebly mad, but i promise i'm not going to try to convince you to come back...i just miss you and wanna talk. Call when your free, Love you!

 

September14th, 10.46am- Owen

Hey, so you still haven't called me...I get that. You're busy. But, i really want to apolagize Claire, for how we left things...just call me?

 

September 14th, 5.00pm-Owen

So you take late lunch at this time, and you go through your phone. Which means you DEFINEATLY should have seen these by now, and plus you usually listen to your voice mail everyday. Without fail, so your ignoring these? Call me Claire, please.

 

September 14th, 6.05pm- Zach

Hey aunt Claire, It's zach, so....i'm sorry for how i reacted when you said that you were going back to the island. I guess i just....I'm afraid of losing you, and i can't get how anyone would want to go to that place again after what we've been through....don't you have nightmares? Gray and I have them all the time....Anyway, i just wanted to say i'm sorry. Call us when your free, mom and Gray miss you very much....

 

September 15th, 8.24am- Owen

You're defineatly ignoring me. Ok Claire this has to stop. I'm SORRY! I shouldn't have said all that stuff, but how do you expect me to react when you tell me that you're going back to the island, ON YOUR WAY to the island!? I get that we've only been tpgeather for two months but you tell people you care about these types of things! Esspecially if they've been to that hell hole themselves! I talked to Zach and Grey and now i'm wondering if you didn't tell me becuase you didn't want me to react badly but seriously Claire it's worse when you call me on a jet on the way there!....Ok, sorry for that, but i won't back down from it being true...Just call me, i know your busy but i knlw you can find the time to call your boyfriend....please?

 

September 15th, 9.48am- Karen

Claire, call me. I'm your sister and you can't be mad forever so call me! Seriously, stop making me worry!

 

September 16th, 12.30pm- Zach

Hi aunt Claire, just checking in to see how you're doing. Call back or skype of you can....and....i guess i miss you too.....Gray says hi by the way...

 

September 17th, 2.45pm- Owen

Dearing, look, i'm worried now. Quit making me worry, i'll get gray hairs. Please just call me i need to know your alright...I haven't heard from you since you landed there and that was FOUR days ago, i'm... i...just....call...

 

September 17th, 5.55pm- Owen

For gods sake Claire stop being so damd stubborn and CALL me! I know you MUST have heard these by now! You can fucking yell if you want!! Just CALL!!....I...i need to know your ok.....

 

September 18th, 7.00am- Owen

Ok, so clearly you are very mad, and twice as stubborn as when i saw you last. Just answer the phone dammit!! *sigh* Claire if i end up dying young you'll be to blame....Anyway, today was pretty fun. The money's escpaed in the zoo and we had to close till they were re captured....nasty little things...better than the ones we've handled before though....Plus i'm having lunch with my sisterd family today. Suprise, not sure why she just called out of the blue and invited me....Anyway, sorry, i'm just rambling about myself. Please Claire, just call me, or text me. Just tell me how you are....? *sigh* Ok, i've gotta go, i'm expecting your call Ms. Dearing...

 

September 19th, 1.00pm- Karen

Claire! PICK UP! PLEASE!!! You have to be alright! They have to be wrong! I KNOW you're alive so PICK UP THE BLOODY PHONE!!!.....Please....*sob*

 

September 19th, 1.30pm- Karen

DAMMIT CLAIRE PICK UP THE PHONE!!!! CALL!! ME!!! I KNOW you're alive, you have to be alive....please! We'll be waiting for you! You're coming home....

***********

Claire Rebecca Dearing

Loving sister and aunt

1985-2015

*************

 

Five moths later....

His finger howered over the call button, knowing that it would either be no signal, or go straight to voicemail. Voicemail which she would never hear. He'd come to the conclusion that her phone was in her office, or her hotel room. Safe. Still functioning....or atleast it had been when he'd tried calling last. Then too it had gone straight to voice mail...

The difference was, then he'd expected her to call back. Now, he didn't. A dead woman couldn't call back. But....

He pressed call...

**'You've reached Claire, please leave a message and i'll get back to you** ,'

"Hello....It's me. I know that you're never going to hear this. But it...doesn't matter, i'll say it anyway. When they told me...that you were, that you were dead. That you'd been...killed, I didn't want to beleive them. I DIDN'T. I felt like i knew you were still alive....but then i started to wonder....if you were? Accepting that you're gone is one of the hardest things that i've ever had to do Claire. I still don't completely accept it. Becuase...for the short time i've known you...you've changed my life. Our first date was a disaster, and i thought that you were a stuck up snob. But...i guess surviving a park full of dinasours going wrong gave me some new perspective...Eitherway, the two months that we've been togeather? They were the best in my life. I know we fought, and didn't agree on everything, but who does? I just want to say, i'm sorry for how we left things, i'm so, so, so sorry you died, i'm sorry...sorry you died thinking i was mad at you. And most of all,..,i...i...sorr...sorry i wasn't there to protect you. If we could do it all over again Claire i'd either tie to to a chair here or go along with you in a heart beat. Now that i'll never get the chance to, i think that...i KNOW that i would have done next to anything for you...becuase. Oh god Claire, i wish you knew but, i think....i think that I'm....no. I know. Claire Dearing, if you were here right now i'd tell you that-"

'Inbox full'

Owen sighed, taking the phone away from his ear and stairing at the number, name and photo of a smiling red head on the screen.

"I'm in love with you..."

The words were quiet, so only he could hear. But it didn't matter becuase he was the only one who had to...the only other person who was supposed to hear those words, that phrase coming from him....was gone. He looked at her photo, she was smiling, her blue green eyes sparkling in the way they did when she was truly happy and content.

Owen had made her happy hadn't he?

He hoped he had. He took refuge in that thought, in the fact that during the last two months of her life, he had made her happy.

He looked at her number one last time, he had it burned i to his head. He knew he'd never forget it. But he looked at it for the last time, before deleting it. He would never leave another message for Claire Dearings voice mail.

Maybe that was for the best....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this, please leave your opinion!:)


	3. The one that got away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by 'The one that got away' by Katy Perry. Hope y'all like it!:D

The one that got away

 

When she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she thought of how different she was now from how she was then. Her once flaming red hair was silver gray, a few strands of fading copper here and there. Her once tanned, creamy skin was wrinkled and pale. Her face now bore the lines of age, the corners of her eyes and mouth wrinkled. Her eyes were still a blue green, but now held so much more behind them. Experience. Sorrow. Love. Victory. Failure. Loss...

But at the same time it was through her eyes that she could see the remnants of her old self. The Claire Dearing whom she once was. 

This Claire Dearing, though much older than she had once been, was every bit as professional. Her cloths every bit as ironed, fashionable and perfect as ever. Even at 70 years, she still held an air of authority. Deep inside, somewhere amongst all she was now, lay the woman that she had once been.

Claire Dearing. 

Jurassic Worlds operations manager, also commonly known as the woman who out ran a T-rex wearing high heels. 

Her lip quirked up at the side as she quietly laughed at the name. He'd always found it amusing, but had loved bringing it up. He'd made fun of it, but she knew that he'd been quite proud of that name, just as she had. Claire sighed as she gave herself a onceover for what she swore was the final time before she left. She was wearing a black pencil skirt, with a long black blouse and black stockings. Her heels weren't as high as she'd once liked wearing them, she found it a problem to keep her balance wearing her beloved shoes these days. The crown of her gray head was covered by a small black hat. Closing her eyes and taking a steadying breath she grabbed her car keys and left the room. 

As she descended the stairs of her house, she passed the walls filled with pictures which had been taken over the past few decades. On the wall at the very top of the stairs was a wedding picture. Claire stood next to her husband, Robert. She was wearing a sleeveless sweetheart bodice white dress, with a long train. Her red hair tied back in a loose bun and a small circlet of silver white flowers adorning her head. She was smiling, a smile which she could look at and honestly say was a happy smile. She had been happy on her wedding day. 

The next photos, further down were of when Claire had been pregnant with her first daughter, Zara. There were also the ones of when Zara had been born and when Claire was still in the hospital. There was a picture of her and Robert, with baby Zara cradled between them. Looking at that image, Claire could say that she was happy. She had loved her daughter the minute she'd laid eyes on her small fragile little form. Since then she had found that many of the things Karen had always told her about having children were true. 

They were annoying, infuriating, messy, exhausting....but totally worth it. 

Then, mixed with pictures of Zara were photos of her second daughter, Wendy. Wendy had somehow ended up with an albino gene, and had been born pale and with a few strands of snow white hair. She was unique and had reminded Claire of a snowflake. She had loved her all the more for it. Next, a few years after Zara and Wendy came along her one and only son. Claire paused a moment, as she reached the first picture of him It had been taken a few hours after he'd been born. 

Owen was the youngest of the three siblings but he'd always acted like he was supposed to protect his sisters. He loved animals and had a kind heart. So much like his name sake that it was almost painful....

Claire quickened her pace and continued briskly down the stairs and towards the door. Glancing at the moments of her life captured in time. When she had finally made it out of the house and gotten into the car, the first thing she did was put in her CD. The one she always played, once a year, every time she made this journey. 

It had belonged to him once. He'd wanted a hard copy of his favorite songs that year, not that they were necessarily written in the exact same year. He'd kept it in a messy drawer in their apartment, and she'd found it when she was cleaning it out to move and just hadn't had the heart to throw it away. As she drove further away from her neighbor hood, and towards the outskirts of the town, she let the memories come back, the emotions wash over her. 

It had been over something stupid. She was sure it had been stupid. Now when she looked back on it, Claire was pretty sure it was more stress that much else. She was secretary to the CEO of Masrani global and he was working with a bunch of especially frustrating tigers at the zoo. To this day she couldn't remember what exactly they'd fought over...but he'd stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. 

She remembered seething at first. She remembered being satisfied with the reaction she had gotten, she'd been happy that she'd managed to piss him off....if only she'd known that it would be one of her greatest regrets in the years to come. Even though she had been angry and satisfied at first, as the night wore on she'd felt guilty and had stayed up, waiting for him to come home so that they could sort it out. They always sorted things out, they fixed each other and they came out stronger.

It had been ridiculously late, and she had practically been drunk on Choco mint ice-cream when the queasy feeling had started in the pit of her stomach. She'd called ATLEAST ten times. She'd eaten ice cream on the couch watching Glee (one of Owens favorite) - waiting for him. The feeling of creeping despair had only gotten worse. At the back of her mind she'd known. These days she wondered if things would have been different had she yielded to her paranoia and taken action. Then she had to keep reminding herself that it was too late to change the past, and she had to keep telling herself that it wouldn't have made much of a difference...

A voice in her head told her that was just for her sanity's sake though...

Claire had waited up for Owen, she'd kept her head up till the early hours of dawn. It was when the sky started turning a soft shade of lilac and pink did she fall asleep on the couch. She'd waited up for him.

But he'd never come. 

The next morning she'd gotten the call. It had been the first call she got that day. Claire's mind must have known it, because the sound of her ring tone had sent chills up her spine and a creeping sense of dread had washed over her, and she'd felt like crying. She'd just stared at the phone as it rand, vibrating against the wood of the kitchen counter top. Then she'd finally answered it, ignoring the voice in her head that was telling her that it would change everything. The call which had sent her life spiraling out of control yet once again. Only this time it hadn't been because some man made monster had escaped captivity, no that call had been to tell her that Owen Grady was dead. 

They had been together since the 'incident' at the park. They had been each others rocks in the raging storm that had been the law suites, funerals, paparazzi, nightmares and PTSD that followed. Owen had been the thing that she could grab onto, the person who could look her in the eye and tell her that it was alright to be scared, all right to feel small, he was the person who could tell her that he understood. Because he HAD. He had gone through hell with her. She was aware then and now that their relationship had not have been founded on the best things. She knew that the reason that they'd been together at first was because both of them had felt like the other was the only person who understood them....but that had only been the beginning.

As time had passed, they had actually fallen in love...

Claire stopped the car on a side of the road near a bridge. When she closed her eyes she remembered the police cars, the ambulance, the toe truck. The restricting yellow tape. She remembered feeling her heart breaking as she'd seen Owens battered car being pulled out of the murky lake. The evil voice in her head getting louder and louder, screaming, shrieking...And finally, she remembered the remaining bit of her heart shattering upon seeing his pale, lifeless body. Her mind had gone blank and the voices had just...stopped.

Claire walked over to the railing of the bridge, leaning against it and looking around the landscape. At the trees of different shades of green swaying to the wind along the river bank. At the blue sky, and the puffs of white gray clouds. And then finally at the open green blue lake, which had claimed her first love in its icy waters....

Sometimes she wondered what her life would have been like, if Owen hadn't died. She wonders what would have happened if his car hadn't sped out of control and sent him crashing through the unfinished bridge and into the lake. She'd fantasized that he would have come home and they would have worked things out. That they would have gotten through that fight and whatever else life threw at them. She had once wondered if they would have been together forever...they could have, they loved each other. They were meant to be...so why did he have to die?

That was a question Claire had asked herself over a hundred times in the months, years even, following Owens death. Those months had been the most painful ever, the voices that had stopped came back with a fury and the nightmares had come back. This time showing many mismatched scenarios of the Mousasoures being in the lake on which Owen had died. The raptors pushing and showing Owens car off course and into the black waters. The Irex... In short, for months her very life had become a nightmare. She'd found it cruel and unfair that after all they'd been through, they weren't allowed happiness. She'd found it unfair that their time together had been cut short. In the dark depression that had befallen her after Owens death, all she'd wondered was why whatever god or deity had wished such pain over her? Why had they taken away the man she loved before her life with him had even truly started?

Now. at seventy years, old and gray and experienced, standing on a bridge looking over at the lake, she was at peace. She was at peace because she understood. Yes, she had loved Owen Grady. Yes Owen had loved her. Maybe they would have worked, maybe not. But now looking back on her life, with and without Owen, Claire understood the universes decision. They weren't meant to be....

Not in this life. In this life he was meant to die, so that she would meet Robert and so that she would have her three beautiful children. In this world he was meant to die because that was what fate, life had planned for him long, long before he was even born. Maybe on some other world, in some other life they could have worked. But in this world, and this life he was meant to be the one that got away....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Please leave ur thoughts on this chapter or any constructive criticism:)


	4. Parallels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi so for those of you who don't know this site was blocked from all my electronic devices which is why i didnt update. That and writers block, but now i have the tab so i can update (for now it teally depends on my marls) but anyway i was just like ' i NEED to wrote Something' and ended up with this, i'm sorry if its not that good but please bear with me. Thanks to everyone who left kudos and commented, im sorry i couldnt thank you sooner.

Parallels

　

_He fell in love._

_The first moment he heard the screaming wails, which he knew would keep him up late into the night, and give him a fair share of headaches in the future, he was in love. His eyes followed the nurses movements numbly as a million different thoughts and emotions ran through him as he clutched his wife's hand tightly. When their son was finally placed in Claire's arms, still crying, demanding to be fed, he knew that this love, forged within a mere few seconds was stronger than anything else in the world. Looking at the small newborn in Claire's arms, he knew that the world was, for at least that moment, perfect._

_And in that delivery room, with his small family, Owen was oblivious to the nurses buzzing around and the problems that lay outside the hospital walls, because at that moment everything was perfect._

　

********

　

_**"Grandpa?" the voice was an anchor in the sea of beeping and nearing demise. The voice cut through then fog of his thoughts, his inner will demanding that he stay conscious . That he look at her. One last time. A hand slipped into his, which was connected to the IV. She had blue eyes and red hair. She was a beautiful woman "Claire,"** _

　

********

　

He watched the eight year old red head, in her pink fairy princess costume as she jumped up and down on the bouncer, surrounding by her friends. She was laughing, showing her missing tooth. Her green blue eyes met his from across the lawn and she waved, he waved back smiling fondly.

　

Children were running around the yard, a magician in one corner performing tricks. Charlie was going around taking pictures, currently asking the birthday girl and her friends to smile for the camera. Theresa, his daughter in law was serving cake to the other parents seated in the plastic chairs around the yard. It was noisy. A bit too noisy for him actually. Which was rather strange, considering he'd used to train raptors at one point in his life. His lips twisted into a bittersweet smile, at the memories that that thought entailed. There were good, and there were bad. The bad ones still came to haunt him at night. When he'd wake up in cold sweat to be face to face with Blue, Delta, Echo or Charlie...only to wake up AGAIN and realize that it had been a dream within a dream. Sometimes when he was alone and when there was absolute silence, he could have sworn that he'd felt the ground shake. He'd freeze every time, his body becoming paralyzed and glued to the spot in fear until he'd closed his eyes and managed to calm himself down.

　

But that was only sometimes.

　

The bad wasn't as frequent as it hand been once.

　

The good, now that was a different story.

　

The good he saw everyday. Whenever he looked around his apartment and saw pictures of his life, of his family. He held the good in his arms every time his granddaughter, Claire after her grandmother (or Clary, just for the difference) - hugged him. The good that came out of that nightmare was everything in his life that had to do with Claire Dearing, with whom he had built the life that he was living now. Claire had been his world, and she had given him the happiness that surrounded him at that moment.

　

"Dad?" Owen was brought out of his reverie by his daughter in laws voice. He smiled up at her apologetically. "Sorry what was it Theresa?" "I asked of you wanted some cake?" Owen was tempted to say yes, but he shook his head instead. "Nah, thanks but I'm not supposed to eat sugar, doctors orders," He said ruefully. She nodded, a look of concern gracing her features. "Are you alright?"

　

Alright was a relative term.

　

He remembered years ago, when the Nulbar incident was still fresh in memory, no one who knew him had asked him if he was 'alright'. Because he was definitely not alright, and he probably never would be again. He still wasn't quite alright, if he was alright then the Irex wouldn't haunt his dreams. But alright was a relative term and for the most part he was alright. Despite everything, he was alright.

　

"Yeah," he said. Owen sighed and then motioned for Theresa to take the seat next to him. She did. Owen had confided in her a lot over the years, it was something he couldn't do with Charlie. He had never let his son see how truly broken he had been after....

　

"She reminds me of her," Owen said, nudging his head towards the bouncer where Clary was still playing with the other kids. "Of Claire. They look almost exactly the same. Same hair, same eyes, same nose. I'm not sure how it's possible but she could be a miny Claire...they even acted the same..." He couldn't help but chuckle slightly as he drew parallels between the stubbornness of his granddaughter and his deceased wife.

　

He didn't talk to Charlie because honestly, how could he? How could he talk to his son about his anger, his frustration and how broken he was about the death of his mother? Not that they hadn't talked, Owen remembered the night of her funeral Owen and Charles had huddled together in his bed and silently sobbed together. The weeks afterwards they'd talked about how much they'd missed her. He remembered going through the stages of grief with his son, all the while telling him that Claire would kick their assess with her seven inch heels for taking this long to get back on track.

　

After a while Charlie had said that the pain had ebbed away, but the grief still came back to stab him in the heart when he least expected it. He had come to live with it. And Owen had told him that he was the same, but that was a lie because for him...he lived in silent pain everyday.

　

After you'd been through what Owen Grady and Claire Dearing had been through TOGEATHER, after experiencing such a life changing incident you became close. Add love to that and the bond was an everlasting eternal thing. Losing Claire...Owen couldn't have told his son exactly what it did to him, the pain had no words. You needed to experience it to understand and because of that Owen never wanted him to.

********

　

_He hadn't had the luxury of finding out through a private call, if that in itself could even be considered a luxury. No, Owen Grady found out about his wife's death, MURDER, on public television when he least expected it._

_He'd sat down in front of the couch one afternoon, on his beloved day off. Days off were nice, he'd never had much free time in either of his previous jobs so this was yet another welcomed change. Coke in hand he'd switched on the T.V to be presented with the gruesome sight of the scene of a bomb explosion. His heart had stopped at the mention of Masrani Global and his world had shattered when the reporter said that the co CEO had been killed._

_Claire Dearing had been killed._

_She had been killed by a bomb that wasn't even meant for her, and that had just made it worse._

_He distantly heard the sound of the glass shattering as it hit the ground, but he couldn't care less. He was out the door and driving towards city square before his mind had even caught up with what his body was doing. It was utter chaos . Fire trucks, ambulances, reporters and people. Bystanders who just had to crowd around and block the path of the people who'd been hurts loved ones. He remembered being irrationally angry at the gathered crowd, and he remembered how it had all stopped when he'd seen the bodies. He'd only caught a glimpse for they'd been bagged before the crowd could get a proper look, but he'd known. Since he'd left the apartment it had been like he was underwater, knowing what was happening but not understanding it._

_Now, after seeing the charred flesh, after seeing her burnt corpse, even if only for a second, now after seeing this PLACE, he understood._

_And he was falling. Falling, falling, falling into what seemed like a never ending black hole. He'd just sat on a park bench staring at nothing._

_He'd spent a long time after that trying to find something to fix the ever constant void in his heart, something that just hadn't gone away. He wasn't looking anymore, he had just given up. He'd resigned himself to the fact that he would never be whole, and he'd learned to carry that pain with him everyday._

_He hoped Charlie never understood_.

　

********

　

When she was ten she'd gotten her first day planner and she had worshipped the object ever since. She had a tight schedule which she did her best to stick to, making a huge fuss if she ever had to break it against her will. Much in the manner her grandmother had, yet another thing they had in common.

　

********

　

When she was sixteen she had given her father what Owen termed as 'the Dearing look'. An unamused look, which was amusing to those around her (Owen that is.) It was a look that both Claire, his Claire and Charlie had but Owen couldn't help think that Clary did it better. And from up in the heavens he was sure Claire agreed.

 

********

　

It was the day she graduated university as valedictorian of her class did she look most like her grandmother. As a young woman of 25, she looked so so much like Claire when he'd first met her. He couldn't be more proud.

　

********

　

_**She had blue eyes and red hair. She was a beautiful woman "Claire,"** _

　

**_She gave him a tearful smile, her eyes shining because of the salty liquid spilling down her cheeks. "Yeah," "Clary," he said, giving her hand a light squeeze. "Yeah," she repeated. She'd always known, he had told her repeatedly over the years how much like her grandmother she was. And how proud he knew she'd be if she had still been alive. She'd read about Claire Dearing, the woman who'd out run a T-Rex in high heels. She'd read about her heroism and seen a fair share of criticisms towards her as well. But what she took to heart and what she believed were the stories told to her by her father and her grandfather. They spoke of a strong independent woman who was a bit of a control freak and perfectionist. They spoke of a loving mother and an amazing wife. They spoke of the Claire Dearing who really was, for what she was and that's what had inspired Clary to work to get where she was now._ **

****

**_"I remember a little girl with a princess costume and a missing tooth," Owen said, coughing in the effort it took to breath. He brushed his fingers over her cheek. "You've grown into an amazing beautiful woman Clary, I'm proud of you." She nodded blinking back her tears. He let his hand slip back to his side and he leaned back into his pillows taking a deep breath, coughing a few times. "Go kid, I'll be fine. Just promise me you'll take care of your dad," She nodded, and kissed him on the forehead for what she felt, KNEW would be the last time. And then she left, because there was nothing else she could do._ **

****

**_He watched her leaving, straight posture and confident strides, wracked with grief for those who knew her. Just like Claire. He smiled sadly. From the first day he'd held Clary in his arms to today, the last day he'd ever see her on this earth, he'd drawn parallels between her and Claire. If it had at all contributed to Clary becoming who she was today, he didn't regret that he had._ **

 


End file.
